Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) Review, Or: Platinum Dunes Takes On Leatherface… Again

After their 2003 attempt at remaking Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and a 2005 remake of The Amityville Horror (review coming soon), Platinum Dunes gave in to fan demands and decided it best to develop a prequel to their first big hit with Texas Chainsaw Massacre:  The Beginning, as directed by Darkness Falls‘ Jonathan Liebesman.  Of course, we all know that Darkness Falls was a horrendous piece of shit, even without the Puppet Tooth Fairy of Death, so it wouldn’t be too surprising if The Beginning was equally horrendous and shitty.  Lucky us, it would seem that Darkness Falls was indeed a fluke, and that the South African director really does know what he’s doing.

In 1969, in the middle of the Vietnam War, brothers Dean (Taylor Handley) and Eric (Matthew Bomer) make their way across Texas with girlfriends Chrissie (Jordanna Brewster) and Bailey (Diora Baird) on one last road trip before they leave for military duty.  Eric, who has already finished one tour of ‘Nam, is proud of his brother for being brave and fighting for his country.  All is not as it seems however, and as Dean makes to burn his draft card, the group’s jeep crashes, sending Chrissie into the nearby bushes while the rest are picked up by none other than Sheriff Hoyt (R. Lee Ermy).  So begins an origin story of torture and bloodshed, introducing us to Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski) and his (finally) cannibalistic family.

None of that, aside from the cannibalism, is what you’ll care about of course.  Rather the Beginning part of the title is what you’ll find most interesting, as it focuses on Sheriff Hoyt’s becoming Sheriff Hoyt, how Uncle Monty (Terrence Evans) lost his legs, and how Leatherface got his… leather face.  We also witness Leatherface’s birth and some of the more amusing moments in the Platinum Dunes Chainsaw films, which elevate this film from a vaguely entertaining retread of the first remake to a charmingly kitsch slice of exploitative gore.

As far as the technical qualities go, despite the replacement of the original’s director of photography Daniel Pearl with relatively unknown Lukas Ettlin, the cinematography still looks damn good and is altogether beautifully composed.  Meanwhile, the music is pretty standard stuff, light years away from the brilliance of the original’s easily but often not imitated industrial score.  It consists mostly of ambient noise and a few strings-based sections, but nothing especially memorable or fancy.  Fortunately, the composition of the of picture far outweighs the dull nature of the soundtrack.

Unfortunately, Ettlin’s ability to capture the ridiculously gory mayhem with gusto isn’t enough to help the film’s biggest flaw:  the writing.  Much like the previous entry, the characters are altogether uninteresting outside of Sheriff Hoyt, though at least in this case they’re likable.  Leatherface is also given a bit more of his old child-like nature, though Bryniarski’s performance mostly just feels like too little too late.  Good try, though.  The story is just a retread with some prequel elements thrown in, so while it may have some memorable lines (”Damn, I just killed the entire police department!”) and a few fun scenes (A FUCKING DINNER SCENE!  FINALLY!), there’s not much to surprise you, so if you go in expecting nothing but the first remake with a more fun atmosphere, this should please you.  If you want something hearkening back to the first movie or the original sequel, this might be a bit too bland.

Liebesman manages pretty well, despite Sheldon Turner’s dull script (surprisingly, he went on to write this year’s Up in the Air with Jason Reitman).  The scenes of violence are easily the most well executed since Part 2, and some of them are even dramatically engaging, most prominently the push-up scene.  Likewise, the general atmosphere is handled with absolute professionalism, and I like that he was allowed to inject some of the humor that the remake was so sadly missing.

The Beginning is recommended to fans of the TCM series and B-movie enthusiasts.  Snobs beware, as you’ll probably come out somewhat peeved, as you are wont to do.

6.5/10