The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) Review, Or: You’re My Fave…!

After 1974’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, director Tobe Hooper quickly found himself on a bumpy road through Hollywood.  Working interchangeably on schlock like Eaten Alive and The Funhouse while also developing classics like Salem’s Lot and Poltergeist, he cemented his mark while also proving himself to be a highly flawed director.  Some might say he was simply given the proverbial shaft by the Hollywood system, who wouldn’t allow him the budget or creativity he required, but it’s nonetheless obvious that his talent behind the camera was like a game of throwing darts.  As his career continued, this became more and more factual, with films like The Mangler and later Mortuary coming off more as meaningless drivel than the work of a master of horror.  Finally, the two episodes of “Masters of Horror” he directed, which apparently gave him complete creative control, were terribly uneven, with “The Damned Thing” being laughably stupid and “Dance of the Dead” feeling like a hollow shell of another film.  The man has not had a well-received career post-Chain Saw, so it only made sense in the middle of his career for him to return to his roots in 1986 with the underrated gore-com The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.

With that overlong intro out of the way, the film starts off with two numbskull college boys speeding through Texas on the way to a party in Dallas, one speeding and the other shooting road signs with a revolver.  The two call in to a local radio station run by Stretch (Caroline Williams), who for some reason can’t get off the line with the boys until they hang up.  Her assistant L.G. (Lou Perryman) can’t do a thing to get rid of the pair, which is unfortunate on account of Leatherface (Bill Johnson) showing up in the back of a pickup and chainsawing the two frat boys to death while they’re still driving, on live radio!  Seeing this as a possible career advancement, Stretch brings the tape to Lieutenant “Lefty” Enright (Dennis Hopper), who eventually concedes and has Stetch play the tape on the air.  This lures in Leatherface, brother Chop Top (Bill Moseley), and the Cook (Jim Siedow), who’s become quite the BBQ sensation under the name Drayton Sawyer.

This is not a landmark film, nor is it a frightening film.  Much like Eaten Alive and The Funhouse, this is more gore than horror.  Luckily for Hooper, it was filmed in 1986 and thereby has that distinct trashy ’80s horror feel beloved by gorehounds worldwide, which ends up being it’s biggest benefactor, along with the aforementioned gore courtesy Tom Savini.  Neon lights and 100% handmade, over-the-top gore are prevalent throughout TCM2, and even though some might say it betrays the feel of the original, it works in it’s own weird, fun way.  In no way should this film frighten anyone over the age of twelve, but it’s entertainment value soars so high as to make that irrelevant.

Another chunk of the film’s appeal relies on the cast, which includes a crazed performance (aren’t they all?) by Dennis Hopper and a wildly entertaining and creepy Bill Moseley, whose Chop Top is easily in my top ten favorite horror villains.  His ‘Nam vet/hippie mentality and generally unnerving bipolar outbursts are a hoot and a holler, and if he was only given more screen time (such as with the awesome but shit quality deleted scenes) he would probably be just as quotable as Chucky and Freddy Krueger combined.  Meanwhile, Caroline Williams makes about as fine a heroine as Moseley makes a villain, but is most memorable for those miles and miles of legs.  When the charmingly innocent mass murderer Leatherface starts to rhythmically thrust his chainsaw against her hoo-ha after a glimpse at those stems, you can’t help but totally feel for the guy.  You’d want a piece of that too.

Speaking of Leatherface, Bill Johnson isn’t half bad in the role.  He’s no Gunnar Hansen, but he’s got certain nervous child vibe going that, while less sinister than his predecessor, makes him thoroughly likable.  Unfortunately, I have to agree with some critics (specifically James Rolfe) that his dance is a tad bit ridiculous and occurs far too often throughout the film.  We get it, you can boogie down, now kill something.

Of course, it isn’t a Tobe Hooper-directed TCM without Jim Siedow, here in his final film role.  He’s aged like shit on the side of a tree, but he still has that weird, somewhat shy psychotic charm that I loved so much in the first film.  Here we have the BBQ angle expanded on, with Drayton Sawyer experiencing some fame as the best BBQ cook in Texas, thanks to a handy little secret family recipe.  Hint:  it’s people.  The man’s a delight to watch, and it’s too bad he wasn’t around to lighten up some of the drab characterization of the sequels.

And… well, that’s all she wrote I suppose.  There isn’t a whole lot to discuss with this simple little achievement, aside from it’s fun black humor and entertaining characters.  Don’t go in expecting anything too serious and you should come out pleased.  Unless you’re some kind of asshole, of course.

7/10